I’ve been putting off this post for awhile. I just wasn’t sure how to write it…
In this strange new world we’re living in, how personal do I want to get? How open do I want to be? A little over a year ago I made a post about my first surgery – but since then a year has passed, and I’ve had the second (and last) major surgery – and while I’m still recovering, most of the worst is in the rear view mirror! So I felt like I should update my blog. I should write about it. But I wasn’t sure how? The words just didn’t seem to come, so I put it off…
Then a couple of days ago as I posted a less-than-attractive photo of myself on Facebook, I felt like I should explain why I would post a picture like that – and suddenly the words came! They just sort of tumbled out, and I didn’t edit, or rethink – I just hit Post!
My thinking at the time was that three or four people might read it, and it would make my Mom cry, and that would be the end of that! And within seconds of posting it, my Mom happened to be online and commented that it made her cry. How well do I know my Mom? But then other people started to Like it and comment – and three days later 107 people have Liked it, and 54 people have left a comment. If you’ve ever felt vulnerable and wondered if you were being a little too open, to get an outpouring of love like that? It was overwhelming and very very very cool!
So I’m reposting that Facebook photo and post here – it may not be a perfect post, but it does the job!
I don’t normally post unattractive photos of myself on Facebook – and thankfully I have kind friends, who refrain as well! But I’m making an exception just this once…My Mom and I were at Zuma Beach – pre-wedding celebration thing, that we just barely missed, but hey we tried! And so she shot a few frames of me and then I shot a few frames of her – and none of them turned out – except for this one throwaway shot, that she accidentally clicked, while trying to figure out how to use my iPhone camera.
So why am I posting it? Because I’ve lost at least 75% of my hair since I got sick, and I’m still recovering from surgery, and I have never felt less attractive in my life. But this photo? My hair is flying like mad, and who cares if there’s less of it. And I have my face turned up to the sun that I love so much. And the sky is a bright blue – and I’m alive!
I am alive. This thing did not kill me. It didn’t even permanently impact my life. I am getting stronger all the time, and I’ll be back hotter than ever soon. I know that. I get to appreciate the sun and the wind and the stars and the sand and everything beautiful in the world – and in life.
I am just about as grateful, as it’s possible to be – and I think you can see that in this photo. THAT’s why I’m posting it!
Sometimes looking pretty isn’t nearly as important as looking alive and healthy and passionate. — at Zuma Beach.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151576097989454&l=ae9cf74e7a
I had some extra time today in Old Towne, the Historic District in Orange, California. So I had a little fun, as I walked around the block…
“‘Kindness’ covers all of my political beliefs,” he wrote, at the end of his memoirs. “No need to spell them out. I believe that if, at the end, according to our abilities, we have done something to make others a little happier, and something to make ourselves a little happier, that is about the best we can do. To make others less happy is a crime. We must try to contribute joy to the world. That is true no matter what our problems, our health, our circumstances. We must try. I didn’t always know this and am happy I lived long enough to find it out.”
Oh no! Spammers stole my avatar! Or how I learned to speak SEO like a bot! 
I’ve used the same avatar for a long time – I think it’s artistic, and representational, and more of an icon than a straight photo. I also have a more traditional portrait that I use occasionally, on some sites, but my main avatar is more fun!
A couple of times in the past I’ve discovered someone else using my avatar as their own. I understood. It’s a cool avatar! What did it matter if it wasn’t actually them? They just found an avatar they liked, and grabbed it. I never called anyone on it, but occasionally I do a search to keep track of it. And in fact I ran a search tonight, and didn’t find any real people using it this time, but I found quite a few spammers or bots that seemed to have scraped it up. Great… It’s one thing to have a real person grab and use it because they like it – it’s a completely different thing when spammers use my avatar to make spammy comments.
I’ve posted some screen grabs below. The sites ranged from a U.K. crime blog, to a political blog written in Albanian, a news site written in Lithuanian, a travel blog, and sites for a newspaper in South Africa, a life breath coach, a Houston bankruptcy lawyer, a filmmaker, a debt collection agency in the U.K., two Internet marketing sites, a lingerie store, and a site about Indonesia. It was also used to comment on a track featured on a hip hop blog – a track that generated over 7000 comments.
The one that got to me the most? A comment made on another photographer’s blog. At least they didn’t use my name, just my avatar…
That last one is snarky!
Bottom line, if you ever see my avatar on a weirdly written comment, it’s probably not me…
And if you want to run a search yourself? Go to Google, and click on Image Search – or click here.
See that little camera icon in the search field? Click on it, then click on Upload an Image, and upload your avatar. Google will then generate a list of some of the pages where that image appears. Hopefully most of the listings are for you!
